Dear Earth, today I was a hot mess.On 15th March 2020 by Satya
I prefer to share photos of me looking decent, or at least like I’ve vaguely got it together. Here’s one my friend Joe kindly took at 3am at our all-night meditation vigil. I was either asleep or trying not to freeze.
Today I felt like the equivalent of this photo. I ate far too much pasta and vegan parmesan. I watched documentaries about horrible abuse on Netflix. I checked for fresh news of the virus every 6 minutes or so.
Dear Earth, I am such a human human. I’ve been prodding at my selfishness like a sore gum – am I social distancing because I want to protect vulnerable others, or because I’m afraid for myself? Am I gobbling news to become better informed, or because it gives me a mucky high? Why aren’t I one of the good people who are checking on their elderly neighbours? When should I start hoarding high quality chocolate?
What helped? Going to a 12 step meeting and hearing the aching vulnerabilities of other humans. Remembering how much sicker it makes me when I get sucked in online. High-octane chasing and being chased by my Little Dog around the flat. Pizza.
More than anything, remembering that we are in an unprecedented global situation, and that I should maybe cut myself a little slack. That, and the fact that it’s pretty difficult to be an ordinary human anyway, some days.
Looking at myself in that photo helps too. It makes me grin 🙂
Thanks for listening, dear Earth. Love, Satya <3