Dear Earth, change is slower than we’d like.On 15th April 2020 by Satya
Before getting our first dog, I asked everyone I met about dog-cat relationships. How would our cats cope with a new puppy? What could we do to make it easier for them? I bought a huge cat tree, I read up on all the training techniques, and our ball of puppy-fluff finally arrived.
Aiko loved the cats. She loved it most when she hurled herself at them and they sprinted away. I tried to keep her on a lead when they were around, but it only took a couple of top-speed circuits around the garden and she was hooked.
Despite our best efforts, relations remained cool. The cats took to the top of the cat tree, and I felt like a failure. One of our young cats Tsuki died unexpectedly, followed a few weeks later by our old man cat. Roshi remained – the cat who’d always been the most frightened of Aiko. I resigned myself to a decade of keeping them separated.
After a whole year of being afraid, Roshi started holding his ground on the living room carpet as Aiko sniffed him enthusiastically. A week later he was relaxed enough to roll belly-up in the sun with Aiko lying just next to him. Yesterday he sniffed Aiko’s face and then head-butted the air in front of her – it may have been a mistake, but I’m taking it as the beginnings of affection.
Sometimes change is fast, and sometimes it’s slow. Sometimes we have trust that roots are making their way deep underground, out of sight. We can learn to wait, as Isak Dineson advised, ‘without hope, without despair’.
You know about this, dear Earth. You know about the formation of glaciers and the slow flourishing of moss. You trust that tadpoles will become frogs in their own time. We are the ones who carry clocks with us. We are the ones who throw money at things we want to go faster. How arrogant we are, and how we set ourselves up for disappointment.
I will welcome my impatient and frustrated parts, dear Earth, and notice my elaborate attempts at manipulation. These bits of me are all trying to help me feel better – I get it. I’ll make space for them all, and send them all compassion. As they settle, I’m left with clarity about what I can do, and what I need to hand over. I’m left with spaciousness. From that place, I’ll witness the beautiful terrible astonishing unfurling of the future. Who knows what will come next?
Love, Satya <3