Dear Earth, this is the grief.

This is the grief I found like an underwater lake, vast and luminous.

This is the grief that wakes me at 4 a.m. to stare at the ceiling, my heart trembling.

This is the grief that follows me with a shadow of guilt. It has a bright lining of anger, and every so often it tips me into grey hopelessness.

This is the grief I don’t want my friends to feel, dear Earth. It is too much.

And. This grief is a gift.

This is the grief that propelled me onto the wrong side of the law, for your sake.

This is the grief that is fuelling me as I write these words. It has given me new dear friends. It has swept the clag from my veins so my blood runs freely and happily. It has reminded me how awesome you are, Earth, and how each day is unearnt, empty, full of luscious colour and promises.

Every drop of this precious substance, darling Earth, can be used to heal you.

Every drop will give me courage. Every drop will show me what to do next. Every drop can be used to connect me back in to your iridescent beetles, your chuckling streams, your delicate green fingers poking up through concrete.

I want everyone to feel this grief, darling Earth. It will save us all.

Love, Satya <3

Gratitude to Tom Dorrington for taking this photo.