Dear Earth, gently does it.On 6th January 2020 by Satya
Today is my last day off before work begins again. As usual, parts of me have ambitious plans for the year. Become super-rich-and-famous, single-handedly save the world – that kinda thing.
My word for 2020 has been travelling with me – a constant companion in a way no previous word has been. It crouches delicately on my shoulder, a soft-feathered thing with big liquid eyes, and every so often it whispers into my ear. Gentle. Gentle. Even the word itself is a caress of sibilance.
‘I’ll lose weight and become a better role-model of a vegan.’ Gentle. ‘I’ll squeeze in volunteering a day a week for Extinction Rebellion.’ Gentle. ‘I’ll become a better cleaner and keep my currently-disgusting car spotless.’ Gentle.
I am making a change. I’ve chosen one thing – the thing that disrupts my everyday life the most – my unhealthy use of the internet. I’ve asked for help. I’ve joined a 12 step group and have set some realistic bottom lines. I’ve checked it out with the different parts of me, and there’s general agreement that they’re ready to give it a try.
For now, this change is enough. Even this change isn’t in my hands – it’s up to my Higher Power. This is a great relief. My life goes much better when I stop my constant conniving and manipulating, and hand it over.
Right now, I’m grateful for my new £3 mug from Morrisons with its canary yellow stripe. Right now, I’m grateful that my trousers still just-about fit. Right now, I’m grateful that you support me, dear Earth, in a million myriad ways.
The strange creature on my shoulder is whispering again… Shhhh, listen, can you hear it too?
With love, Satya <3