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Love Letters . ֎

Dear Earth, I am not in control of the universe.

On 22nd January 2020 by Satya

Whenever I’ve got a problem, whenever I’m in pain, whenever I’m unhappy, I have to at least be open to the possibility that the reason for it is that I think I’m in control of the universe. It’s often that.

~ Russell Brand, from a video on Recovery

Over the past few weeks, dear Earth, I’ve been allowing myself to be guided. I’ve remembered that my own ideas about what I should and shouldn’t be doing are at best limited, and at worst are driven by greed, small-mindedness and fear.

I’ve been shown repeatedly in my life that if I can step out of the way, I am taken in a ‘Good Orderly Direction’. Things that seem terrible at the time turn out to be exactly what I needed, and things I was desperate for and grabbed at turn out to be not at all what I hoped they’d be.

What does ‘stepping out of the way’ actually mean? It means that instead of tuning out the boring person in the meeting, I remain curious about what they have to say. It means I say yes to the unexpected invitation and see where it takes me. It means that I wait, watch and wonder. It means that I stop trying to control the universe.

I am not proposing an avoidant quietism. When I allow myself to be guided I am often called to act, and this can involve doing things that take some courage.

I am saying that when I listen to something bigger-than-me, dear Earth, it helps. Sometimes this is you. Sometimes it is the Buddha. Sometimes it is the boring person in the meeting. When I keep my ears open and put my own ideas on hold, what happens is always more wonderful than my best laid plans.

I spend a lot of my time trying to be in control. It frightens me and it frustrates me and it tires me out. Today didn’t go to plan, and I hated that.

When I stopped hating it, I realised that the world hadn’t ended, and that I had learned something important about myself. When I stop trying to swim in straight lines and bob along with the eddies and swirls, the view is more beautiful, I get where I need to go faster, and I can lie back and enjoy the awesome ride.

Much love, Satya <3

*

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

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