Dear Earth, I had a little meltdown.On 7th November 2019 by Satya
Today I had the whole morning free to work on my new e-course. I began by setting up the mechanics of the automated emails. I encountered a technical problem, and then another, and then another. Over the course of an hour, a tangled knot formed in my stomach and tightened and tightened. Eventually it exploded into bitter tears.
After the intensity eased (and with the help of my kind husband) I became curious about what I was so upset about. I know that sorting out the tech can take ages, so which part of me had thrown itself onto the floor in anguished overwhelm?
I found it. It was the part of me that writes. My Writer has been squeezed into the edges of my too-busy life for months. I listened to it. It told me it had enjoyed getting up in the middle of the night to write these letters to you, darling Earth, but that it missed having proper swathes of time in my week. I had promised that it would have a whole morning to write, it told me, and here I was faffing about with boring plug-ins.
It pushed me to tears because it didn’t know how else to get my attention. I have ignored it as I busied myself with other Good Things To Do. I’m sorry it had to shout, but I’m glad it did. Now I can make amends.
Dear Earth, I vow to listen to all the different parts of me. When I do listen, they help me to help you. They show me what my unique contribution is, and they show me how to sustain myself over the longer term. It’s going to take a long time to put things right as you know, Earth.
I have blocked out writing spaces in my diary and marked them with hearts.
Love, Satya <3