Dear Earth, I’m still not fixed yet, goddammit.

I’ve lived on your lap for 45 years now, darling Earth, and I have done a lot of therapy. I’ve spent decades in 12 step programmes and trainings, and I’ve done a lot of spiritual practice. I’ve consumed forests of books. I’ve written teetering stacks of journals. And I am STILL NOT FIXED. There are Read More

Dear Earth, I’m leaning in.

I’m resting my foot against a warm snoring dog underneath my desk. I’m resting my eyes on the grey stone Buddha on my windowsill, as he exudes his usual tranquillity. I’m resting my tired heart on your battered breast, darling Earth, as you absorb whatever we hurl at you. After I rest a while, I Read More

Hello Dear Earth

Here I am – melancholy, weary, my back and neck sore.Earth – our huge poppy is splitting its bud, revealing a slash of blood-red. The dogs are fighting over my affection.Leaning in, I see all the violence stirred into your beautiful soup.Listing gratitude – dappled clouds. Calm-again dogs. Quiet, embroidered with wood pigeon coos. A Read More

Hello Dear Earth

Here I am – I feel old, my lower back aches.Earth – you are waking up, your spring flowers are blooming, and you are very very old.Leaning in, I see the new and the old in me.Listing gratitudes – sun on my face, dog on my lap (muddy paws and all), a therapy session later Read More

Dear Earth, relationship is complicated.

Ralph came to live with us a fortnight ago. Our dog Aiko loves other dogs whenever we meet them when we’re out, and I hadn’t quite appreciated how it might be for her to have a new sibling. Someone who takes her toys from her mouth. Someone who runs to meet and greet us first. Read More

Dear Earth, what can I see?

I see our vegetable patch, through my office window. There are our month-old seedlings – courgettes, kale, cauliflower, cucumber, squash. Ruffled green sprigs of potato leaves have poked their way up through the earth. There is flimsy lettuce, just-germinated chard, and a self-seeded marigold which has been socking us in the eye with luminous orange Read More

Dear Earth, I believe in miracles.

Oh Earth, we are suffering. We are seeing how it is to run out of food and to be afraid of going out. We shiver as death blows in at our perimeters. We are tasting our powerlessness. When this is over, what will we do? Will we dive back into consumption, compulsion, control? Will we Read More

Dear Earth, change is slower than we’d like.

Before getting our first dog, I asked everyone I met about dog-cat relationships. How would our cats cope with a new puppy? What could we do to make it easier for them? I bought a huge cat tree, I read up on all the training techniques, and our ball of puppy-fluff finally arrived. Aiko loved Read More

Dear Earth, it’s impossible.

All year I have been avoiding plastic in the supermarkets. Last week I chose the mushrooms sweating in their clingfilmed plastic coffin, because I was afraid. I was afraid of catching the coughing virus. Meanwhile, on a Pacific island, albatross chicks are being fed lighters, bottle tops, and biros by their mothers. This cargo fills Read More

Dear Earth, this is making me happy:

This rectangle of land in front of our flat, generously dressed in dark compost. Mushroom compost, which arrived on a lorry and the man asked me to get my own pen to sign for it as he wasn’t allowed to lend me his or I might infect him. Bunny compost, made of our three bunnies’ Read More

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