Category: ֎

Dear Earth, I am boring.

I am 45 years old. For decades, I have written about how we can accept ourselves. For decades, I have lost myself in computers and overwork. For decades, I have liked the same things – cats, words, chocolate – and disliked the same things – fairground rides, cleaning, secrets. Sometimes I yearn to be a Read More

Dear Earth, what dance shall we do today?

It’s miserable out. My body is thick with an impending cold. Right now, I feel like a useless hulk of flesh. I want to go back to bed and hide. A question keeps arising in me – what can I offer today? I don’t want to ask this question. I want to ask ‘what can Read More

Dear Earth, the weather inside my head is gloomy.

Nothing particular has happened. A series of irritations, an underlying grief, a couple of triggers. Weariness after weeks of work. A backlog of bitterness that has burst like a spot. Weather systems are complicated, both inside my head and on your body, dear Earth. As complex as they are, we can change entire weather systems. Read More

Dear Earth, help me to stop reading the news.

I am being pulled in a thousand tiny directions. The election. Brexit. Impeachment. He said. She said. What I think about what he said. What they think about what he said. And the Amazon is still burning. Keeping up to date with these tiny details is an attempt at feeling less afraid, less out of Read More

Dear Earth, I finally washed my robes.

Since my arrest at the rebellion at the start of October, they have been splattered in mud. I’ve worn them as I’ve been celebrant for our three weekly Buddhist services here at the temple, catching sight of the dirt and grime as I circumambulate our golden Buddha and bow to the floor. I’m a lazy Read More

Dear Earth, please help me to ask for help.

Beloved Earth, I am terrible at asking for help. When others help me I feel vulnerable, a nuisance, in their debt, and a failure. My culture has taught me to worship self-sufficiency. “What a clever girl – you’ve done it all by yourself.” “If you want something done properly…” I was a good student, and Read More

Dear Earth, is deep change possible?

I spent many happy years in ‘the rooms’ – twelve step programmes like Alcoholics Anonymous which help us to manage our unmanageable compulsions. I especially loved the group that meets at the Buddhafield festival, where those of us with different preferred addictions come together and find out what we have in common. Lots, it turns Read More

Dear Earth, it’s the simple things.

Yesterday we had a very simple day. We woke in a leisurely fashion, went for a long walk with Aiko, ate a vegan fry-up for lunch, napped, read our books, did a little bit of writing, and had a pizza-and-television evening. I remember several times thinking, ‘I am happy’. It wasn’t because of anything complicated, Read More

Dear Earth, let’s practice praising.

Let’s praise the man who upset me yesterday, for showing me a corner of myself which is bitter and hurting, and which needs more soft attention. Let’s praise the battered stalks of kale, stripped naked up to their shoulders, for having spared us some leaves after plumping up several armies of caterpillars. Let’s praise the Read More

Dear Earth, this morning I was woken by death.

He came in the form of our cat Fatty, yelling for his breakfast. He gained his silly nickname almost two decades ago when the vet told us he was a bit too pudgy. It’s become ironic, as he’s a bag of bones. He’s on three kinds of medication. He’s completely deaf, his back legs are Read More

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